It's Back! Winter Angst Poetry Contest

If you're like me, you're on the verge of abandoning your current life to pursue homelessness on a tropical island. Winter is starting to get to me. You know, like psycho-logically.

How many more times can I peel layers of frozen skin off my tender eyelids?
How many more times can I climb inside the preheating oven for warmth without it affecting my health?
How many more times can I pull off the sweater over sweater over sweater with scarf and hoodie and parka and beanie look? With snowpants? (And that's before I head outside.)
How many more times can I throw things at my TV while watching The Real Housewives of Orange County?

In the past, I've found that one of the only ways to combat winter fatigue is with cathartic poetry. So, I'm bringing back the Winter Angst Poetry Competition! (Hold for applause.) Sharpen your pencils and your wit, and waste part of your day trying to amuse me!

The last time I held this competition, I was overwhelmed with the fantastic response--young and old alike filled my inbox with frigid, bitter writing that warmed my heart and made me feel not so alone, bonded together in a worthy cause: winter angst. Ready to play?

Here are the rules:
1. Send your original poetry to tiffany{at}wouldbewritersguild{dot}com. It can be any form of poetry you like—long, short, rhyme-y, moody, whatever (but remember that I’m partial to funny).
2. Make sure your poetry is ridden with hatred for winter. I don’t want to read about cute snowmen or happy, furry woodland creatures. Or the beauty of moonlight on fresh fallen snow. Blecht.
3. Seriously, don’t try to put some positive spin on all this frigid air. I’m warning you.
4. If you are a native of Florida, California, Arizona, or Hawaii you are automatically disqualified. (Well, okay, you’re not disqualified but you probably have no chance at seriously competing. Especially against a Canadian.)
5. Entries must be received by midnight, February 10th.
6. Please, no more than two entries per person.

And now for the prizes(!):

First prize: One TWENTY-FIVE THOUSAND DOLLAR GIFT CARD TO TARGET! Wait—did I say “THOUSAND” right there? I meant “ORDINARY.”
Second prize: One super awesome Anti-Winter mix CD!
Third prize: Three magnets from my fridge! Woot! Woot!
Honorable mention: One mention in the post. A really honorable one.

Fine print: Judging will be completely subjective and based on my own whims.

So, take that, winter! Spread the word and let the poetry begin!