Monday, February 1, 2010

It's Back! Winter Angst Poetry Contest

If you're like me, you're on the verge of abandoning your current life to pursue homelessness on a tropical island. Winter is starting to get to me. You know, like psycho-logically.

How many more times can I peel layers of frozen skin off my tender eyelids?
How many more times can I climb inside the preheating oven for warmth without it affecting my health?
How many more times can I pull off the sweater over sweater over sweater with scarf and hoodie and parka and beanie look? With snowpants? (And that's before I head outside.)
How many more times can I throw things at my TV while watching The Real Housewives of Orange County?

In the past, I've found that one of the only ways to combat winter fatigue is with cathartic poetry. So, I'm bringing back the Winter Angst Poetry Competition! (Hold for applause.) Sharpen your pencils and your wit, and waste part of your day trying to amuse me!

The last time I held this competition, I was overwhelmed with the fantastic response--young and old alike filled my inbox with frigid, bitter writing that warmed my heart and made me feel not so alone, bonded together in a worthy cause: winter angst. Ready to play?

Here are the rules:
1. Send your original poetry to tiffany{at}wouldbewritersguild{dot}com. It can be any form of poetry you like—long, short, rhyme-y, moody, whatever (but remember that I’m partial to funny).
2. Make sure your poetry is ridden with hatred for winter. I don’t want to read about cute snowmen or happy, furry woodland creatures. Or the beauty of moonlight on fresh fallen snow. Blecht.
3. Seriously, don’t try to put some positive spin on all this frigid air. I’m warning you.
4. If you are a native of Florida, California, Arizona, or Hawaii you are automatically disqualified. (Well, okay, you’re not disqualified but you probably have no chance at seriously competing. Especially against a Canadian.)
5. Entries must be received by midnight, February 10th.
6. Please, no more than two entries per person.

And now for the prizes(!):

First prize: One TWENTY-FIVE THOUSAND DOLLAR GIFT CARD TO TARGET! Wait—did I say “THOUSAND” right there? I meant “ORDINARY.”
Second prize: One super awesome Anti-Winter mix CD!
Third prize: Three magnets from my fridge! Woot! Woot!
Honorable mention: One mention in the post. A really honorable one.

Fine print: Judging will be completely subjective and based on my own whims.

So, take that, winter! Spread the word and let the poetry begin!


marta said...

woohoo. i love this idea and your generous prizes!

p.s. your beloved summer mix has made it's way into my winter months! thank you.

Soul-Fusion said...

I have plenty of experience with winter angst and January blahs and staticky hair that this shouldn't be difficult. The problem is winter also leaves me ridiculously unmotivated......I'll do my best.

Ginnie said...

I'll have you know I poses some pretty mad rhyming skills. BEWARE.

Ginnie said...

... spelling on the other hand? Not so much. What I meant to say was POSSESS, although I do possess many great poses as well.

Leslie said...

If I remember correctly, Ben won last time! I'll have to let him know the contest is back!

Kellybee said...

Is swearing aloud?

Angie said...

I'm gonna do it! And since this isn't a drawing (it isn't, is it) then maybe I have a shot...?

Kami said...

I love prize #3. woot! woot!

lizzie said...

i have a lot of pregnancy angst. maybe i could channel that into winter angst...

Christy said...

Rule #2 is my favorite. And rule #3 simply inspiring. I'm beginning to feel a poem coming on.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

I throw things too but i still love it!

MiaKatia said...

I wrote a limerick about the stupid winter storm that ruined my birthday... I will have to find where I stashed it and send it in.

Omgirl said...

I just finished.

Artax said...

Been trying all week to be hit by inspiration like a lightning bolt, but I'm beginning to give up hope.... Maybe I'll send in my entry in August.

tiburon said...

Dangit. I think I missed the deadline.

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