Wednesday, March 14, 2012

My Imaginary Well-Dressed Toddler Daughter

Friends, I'd like to introduce you to someone very special--my imaginary well-dressed toddler daughter. Her name is Quinoa, and I found her on Pinterest, begging me to give her an imaginary home filled with designer clothing and incredible lighting. She's a lovely, lovely human being. Would you like to see what she's been up to lately?

She rides around town on her mini Vespa scooter, but she always stops for pedestrians.

She loves to dress up for church in Chanel and roller skates, because she absolutely adores a juxtaposition.

One of her favorite activities is twirling, and nobody does it better than Quinoa.

Please don't confuse twirling with spinning; they are very different activities (though she is equally talented at both).

Every night, she lays out her impeccable outfit for the next day...

...then prays for all the children of the world, that they might be as happy, healthy, and well-dressed as she.

Did I mention that she's thoughtful and well-spoken? She attended the funeral of a classmate's hamster and gave a touching eulogy.

Where does she shop, you ask? Where doesn't she shop? is the answer!

You want to watch Indiana Jones with her? She's got an outfit for that.

Sometimes she lets me dress her up as a Von Trapp child and we sing about raindrops on roses and all of our favorite things.

She loves to put on a show. Here she is doing a tribute to Whitney Houston. It was amazing. The children really are our future.

She sure loves our country, right down to the toes of her red designer boots. In fact, she can recite the Pledge of Allegiance in seventeen languages.

Even when she's not trying, she manages to look super cool, just like a Hollywood starlet running to Target for some tampons.

She's adorable at all times, even when a large spider is crawling toward her on the floor.

You should see her dance. She's got the moves like Jagger, and the charm of Gene Kelley, all wrapped up in a size 4T.

Before you accuse her of being shallow and obsessed with her looks, you should know that she's a human-rights activist, president of seven book clubs, and is weeks away from a degree in Marine Biology.

Oh yes, my little Quinoa is the kind of imaginary daughter every mother dreams of. I consider myself very, very lucky to have her in my life. Wouldn't you?

(You can keep up with Quinoa on Pinterest.)


Leslie said...! She is so very ... EVERYTHING! I love her sense of style! My own precious daughter has her own definite sense of style, we call it: Punky Brewster (minus the leg warmers.)
Thank you for introducing me to Quinoa. You should be very proud.

Dede said...

I started to follow you on Pinterest so I can get to know my niece a little better. Quinoa is one of a kind!

Anonymous said...

This was too funny! And I must say that yes, half the fun of having a daughter is dressing her up. When I was pregnant with Andre I was sure he was a girl right up till he was born. When it was confirmed that he was definitely a BOY, I cried just a little. The nurse patted me and said oh, you must really have wanted another girl. No, I answered. I just really wanted to buy flower headbands again and little maryjanes and sweater sets and plaid little skirts and Easter dresses. Oh the Easter dresses! Ashlenne wore gloves and a hat every Easter till she was 8. Then she rebelled. Good luck with your daughter. Quinoa Beveridge really just flows, doesn't it? - Kelly S.

Hil said...

I want to be your imaginary daughter. Maybe she could add "style consultant" to that already long list of accomplishments?

Hildie said...

My girls have never been as cute as Quinoa. Jealous!

Kate said...

Your blog posts make me happy. I love Quinoa.

(ps. Isn't Quinoa the name of a grain? I'm pretty sure my mother has fed me something with a name like that.)

kami @ said...

An entire Pinterest board just for Quinoa?! She's so lucky.

Yay you and Quinoa are back! :)

I mean "Keen-Wah". ;)

That title is a mouthfull.

Angie said...

Congratulations, she's gorgeous.

Anonymous said...

Can we get a phonetical spelling of Quinoa? We don't quite know how to pronounce our fictional niece's name, and it is kind of embarrassing.

-Jesse and Natalie

Donna Bardsley said...

Oh, I love this on so many levels.

Tiffany said...

Jess and Natalie--the phonetic pronunciation is Keen-wah. She's named after a very trendy grain, popular among hipsters.

buddens said...

tiffany, you are too funny! i love this. if only i could embody a fraction of your cleverness. someday...

i miss your posts. (but who am i to talk? ha!)

littlegypsy. said...

ha! HA! hahahahaha! spectacular!

JaNae said...

bwa haha! that post made me spit out my homemade lemonade with fresh mint ( <3 pinterest!)

Mia said...

Oh I love your imaginary daughter so much! My own daughter will never be quite as well dressed, but she is totally the president of a book club and also the recess "rock club" where they collect and pile up rocks from all over the playground. Makes a mother proud!

Melissa Hesseling said...

I absolutely love Quinoa and all of her magnificence!
I'm so glad you have a blog so that we can all follow your magnificence! Like Mother, Like "Imaginary Toddler Daughter"!
~Melissa @ Fawn Over Baby ~

C. H. Green said...

I can't see any of the pictures. Are the links broken? Or is it my computer?

Anonymous said...

I'm waiting with bated breath wishing and hoping Quinoa is given her own blog a la Suri's Burn Book!

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