Thursday, March 22, 2012

Banter at Bedtime


Me: How's it going, old man?

Max: Bye, older lady.

Me: Where are you going, short person?

Max: Haha, very funny. You're smaller than Christian.

Me: Yeah, but I can still sit on him. And I can sit on you, too.

Max: Yeah, but you're just a midget.

Me: Too bad for you, since you have the same DNA.

Max: DNA? Who cares about DNA?

Me: Let's move on to another subject. What would you like to talk about?

Max: Something you don't want to talk about.

Me: Like politics?

Max: Maybe something different.

Me: Let's talk about unicorns. How many unicorns do you think it takes to make one unicorn burger?

Max: See you later.

Me: What? Did I upset you? Does the thought of a big, juicy unicorn patty make you cry?

Max: Wait, I need to go to the bathroom. For about, like, forever.

Me: Hmmm. Must have had beans for dinner.

(Several minutes later)

Me: Were you rapping in the bathroom?

Max: No! Maybe. Yeah, I did.

Me: That seems like a fun bathroom activity. What are your plans this weekend?

Max: Sleep, uhhhhhh, and other stuff.

Me: Sounds fun. I'm ready to go to sleep right now. How about you? You could get started on your weekend.

Max: Great! I'll do it a couple hours after you do.

Me: I may be funny, but I'm not stupid. Go to bed, you short little old man.

Max: Oh yeah? I think I can do more math problems than you.

Me: What's one little boy plus one bedtime?

Max: Equals Mom sleeping and little boy partying.

Me: Wrong. It equals 73.

8 comments:

Lance said...

Random and flipping hilarious, as usual!

Christy said...

HILARIOUS! My favorite line..."Wait, I need to go to the bathroom. For about, like, forever."

Loved listening in on a sweet bedtime conversation of a mother and son. Thanks for sharing!

Leslie said...

Dang, I was close, I thought it was 72! I'll have to check my calculations again.

THANKS FOR POSTING!!!!!

Mia said...

I love it when you post! You guys are hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Funny post.

Dad

niki1ikar said...

Hello!
Just started reading some of your blog posts! I love your enthusiasm. And this post is hilarious!
I can't wait to read some of the posts I see about advice for writers. I am an aspiring novelist as well (aren't we all) and have started my own blog to help me keep my writing up. It's definitely a work in progress since I have never blogged before, but if you ever have free time, check it out:
http://niki1likar.wordpress.com/

Best,
A friend in Canada

Jesse C said...

I can't believe I never posted a comment. This is so funny. I need more banter in my life.

Relyn Lawson said...

I think maybe your boy is just. like. you.

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