I'm stalking my Christmas tree. I can't leave it alone. I spend almost all my time right near it, inching my way on the couch to be within arm's/branch's reach. Sometimes I switch to the chair on the other side of it; the view is nice from there too. I wonder if the tree wants me to back off and find some other friends. I wonder if it thinks I should have spent more time fluffing its artificial branches when I set it up. I wonder if it feels naked in the back where there aren't any ornaments. I wonder if it wants to be friends on facebook. I wonder why it never writes clever messages to me on Twitter. I wonder if it knows that I'm considering a real tree next year. Heyyyyy. That would be a game changer, wouldn't it?
Wait, it would say, I don't understand. You can't leave me alone, for crying out loud! And now you're talking about replacing me?
I bet that would make my tree less critical of my overbearing codependence. Who's calling the shots now, tree, huh?
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6 comments:
I don't think you are playing mind games with your tree... I think your tree is playing mind games with YOU. No one ever suspects the tree....
your tree is beautiful! i see why you are obsessed.
Hilarious!
It's very pretty. I have a hard time leaving the tree alone, too. Just let it go.
Hi. My name is Becky and I'm a Christmas tree stalker too. Glad to know I'm not alone. :)
You crack me up! Christmas trees are magical. Normal people are obsessed with them... it's the crazies who don't see the magic.
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