Sunday, December 19, 2010
I'm stalking my Christmas tree. I can't leave it alone. I spend almost all my time right near it, inching my way on the couch to be within arm's/branch's reach. Sometimes I switch to the chair on the other side of it; the view is nice from there too. I wonder if the tree wants me to back off and find some other friends. I wonder if it thinks I should have spent more time fluffing its artificial branches when I set it up. I wonder if it feels naked in the back where there aren't any ornaments. I wonder if it wants to be friends on facebook. I wonder why it never writes clever messages to me on Twitter. I wonder if it knows that I'm considering a real tree next year. Heyyyyy. That would be a game changer, wouldn't it?
Wait, it would say, I don't understand. You can't leave me alone, for crying out loud! And now you're talking about replacing me?
I bet that would make my tree less critical of my overbearing codependence. Who's calling the shots now, tree, huh?