Monday, July 12, 2010

Give Me a Lazy Summer or Give Me Death

It's time for somebody to check the cruise control on the axis of our planet. It's going a wee bit too fast for my liking, and I think I speak for many when I demand that we slow things down a bit. It's July 11 already, when, according to my calculations, it should only be June 22.

Where is the lazy summer I've been expecting?

I need more time to sit by the pool, estimating when I should reapply sunscreen.

I need more time to marvel at fireflies.

I need more time to narrow down my favorite ice cream flavors.

I need more time to watch boring, summer re-run TV.

I need more time to take self-portraits with my webcam.

Speaking of portraits, self and otherwise, Ryan and I ventured to the post office last week to apply for our passports. When it was my turn to have my photo taken, I zhuzhed my hair a bit with my fingers and sat down in the chair with a big smile. The no-nonsense postal worker, Leroy, told me to sit back in the chair further. Then he told me that I didn't need to smile and show teeth. In fact, he said, most people don't smile at all. He waited for me to drab it down a few notches and said, "There's no need to vogue."

Needless to say, Ryan was rolling his eyes so far into the back of his head that he sprained his cornea. He will never let me live this one down. I know this because he brings it up at least three times daily, and  then does an over-exaggerated impression of me, batty eyes and everything.

I'm sorry if I care about making a good impression internationally. I didn't know it was discouraged.


Alyssa said...

I have had two passports and I am smiling in both. A friend of mine has the best passport photo I've ever seen - it looks like a CIA badge. Or what we would imagine a CIA photo to look like. She was being serious though.
Oh, and I agree with the fast summer. I seem to have missed all of June and July is nearly half over? No fair!

ern said...

Don't listen to them! I was convinced to not smile for my SCUBA certification pic and I look like I'm in pain. For something I was so excited about getting it certainly looks depressing. You should always smile!

Kristina P. said...

I can't believe summer is more than half over. Boo.

Leslie said...

Shoot! I thought it was June 21st! Hmmm, I guess I better catch up!
I bet Jason Bourne had that same passport photographer. You notice there's no nonsense in those passport pictures!

Hildie said...

Sometimes I see people's drivers license pictures and I'm like, "why aren't you smiling? What's your problem?" Because everyone should look as cute as possible in every single picture they take.

Pretty Power!

Sarah said...

So there was no need or you aren't supposed to? If there is no need - then it is okay that you smile.
Silly postal worker.

Becky said...

I hear you! Summer is going by way too fast. It's like Christmas. You wait and wait for it to get here and then before you know it, you are putting the decorations (or shorts and sunscreen in summer's case) away. Sigh. As for the passport photo, at least you didn't have a red face, tears streaming down your cheeks and a runny nose from crying because everyone had an opinion about how you should smile- for that is how Ian's passport photo turned out. It was too much pressure. Poor boy. Bet your photo turned out darling! This has to be the longest comment in comment history. Sorry about that. Really.

Christy said...

This made me laugh my butt off!

Lindy-Lou said...

You are so funny.

Mia said...

I had a roommate once who took a day off of work and got her hair done and her nails (that you wouldn't see in the picture) just to take her drivers licence picture. That was back in the day when people actually wrote checks and you had to show your license every time. She figured that was her way to show everyone one glimpse of her best side. I loved her theory and totally started following suit! And yes summer is going by whiplash fast.

{word verification is glitten. see even blogger believes in a little glitter they just don't know how to spell}

Omgirl said...

Ya, my husband told me that too, when we took our passport pics, that you aren't supposed to smile. I was like, WHATEVER! It's not a mug shot!! And I smiled anyway. But not a huge smile. Just in case they rejected it on account of there being too many teeth showing.

kami @ said...

Nobody tells Tiffany not to vogue!

You zhuzh it up all you want!

PS. I hear you on the summer thing, is it because we are adults? If so, this sucks! I want to marvel at fireflies. (Lucky)

tiburon said...

I would have straight up smacked the anti voguer.

You should just put that pic on the passport.

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