Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Fun with Max and Mom

Max wasn't very happy about the to-do list I gave him this morning. It included reading two chapters of a book, and then writing a short story. He protested immediately, and I tried to explain that he needs to keep up on his reading and writing during the summer or else his brain will turn into mush and start oozing out of his ears. And if that happens, I explained lovingly, he will die.

Reading + Writing = Not Dying

I sat down to read with him, but he quickly became annoyed when I offered help. I tried to give him a few sound hints, and he huffed and puffed and let me know that I was "blowing it." Fifteen minutes later, we parted ways on page 8.

Next, he stomped around to find a piece of paper and pen. He scribbled in the middle and wrote, "Hi. Good-by!" and submitted it to me with a frown.

"Try again," I said. "You could write a story about old ladies." (Max uses old ladies as the punch line to almost all of his jokes and stories.) He rolled his eyes and walked away.

A while later, he tossed another story at me with a scowl:

old ladys atkt the world
the polies cild them.
The end.

Two can play this game. "I love it, Max," I said. "This is really funny."

"YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY?" He screamed, "POLICE KILLING OLD LADIES?!"

Then he stomped in the other room and ironically slumped into the Time Out chair.

You know, one of the most important things we can do as mothers is make summer miserable for our children. My work today is done.

13 comments:

Dede said...

I am dying! That is so funny. I love that he uses old ladies as the punchline to jokes. What is funnier than....old ladies?

Amy Jo Lavin said...

Sounds awfully familiar! I make my sons do Summer Bridge workbooks every day during the summer, and they act like it's torture! :)

I love that he sat down in his time out chair!

Angie said...

Old ladies attack the world. Ha! That's awesome.

Kim said...

I agree with you...we are here to make summers miserable. It's like when we take our kids on a vacation...nothing but fun & festivities and the first day back from vacation I hear, "What are we doing for fun today?" My response, "Fun is over, you had fun the last five days." Life's tough!

Jenny said...

I am still laughing.

Leslie said...

love it! I just gave Ben the same assignment, thanks to this post!

JaNae said...

that is too funny! I am also torturing my kids with school work this summer.

MiaKatia said...

Old ladies attacking the world!!! He is too funny. I make my kids do this kind of stuff in the summer too; it's not all sitting by the pool sipping capri suns.

Miranda said...

I want to embroider that final bit of wisdom onto a pillow.

Kate said...

Sounds just like summer at our house....

Kelly S. said...

I love it when my kids try to bait me with something they are praying gets a big response and I just peter out and say "really, hmmmm."
They walk away with a look like I'm now a pod person. It's good to keep them guessing.

kami @ no biggie said...

so funny! He's a smart cookie that Max. I think Avery feels the same way, that we are out to ruin their summer. I need to work a bit more at it.

Becky said...

He cracks me up! I love Max! Creative writing...hmmm. I have just been using the "go out and pull 20 weeds" thing. Talk about miserable children. He, he.

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