Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The Ballad of Max and Brianna

This is Brianna, my sister's daughter.  She is bright and funny and adorably compact.  She says hilarious things like, "We're not supposed to say 'butt crack,' right, Mom?" 

Everybody loves Brianna.

Well, everybody except for Max. 

Temporarily ousted from his place as Resident Littlest One last week, Max had a taste of life as an older sibling as Brianna followed Max and her big brother Ben all around.  And, oh the frustration!  

One morning, the kids started a movie.  At one point Max said something about the moving being on, to which Brianna declared that the movie was not on.  And then something like this followed:

Max: Yes, it is.

Brianna: No, it isn't.

Max: Yes, it is!

Brianna: No, it isn't.

Max: YES, IT IS!

Brianna: No, it isn't.

At that point, Max who was staring at the movie that was most definitely on, boiled in frustration and spontaneously sprouted a gray hair.   

Well, you can only imagine the rest of the week.  

As soon as Max realized that Brianna loved going to the pool, he announced that he was ready to "take a break from the pool."  In fact, he explained, he was pretty sure the pool was closed.  Forever.  

Who's calling the shots now, huh?

And then there was the time that Max and Ben set up all the Transformer toys on the coffee table.  Max anticipated Brianna's interest in sabotaging their fun joining them and built a barricade out of pillows to keep her out.  He sat vigilantly in the chair next to the pillowcade and announced as she inched near, "I'm watching you."  It was very Robert De Niro.

Only twice was he detained for assault during the week.  Only once for attempted assault.  

The evening after they left, he was a little lethargic.  Of course, he was missing Ben--his constant companion of the last week--but he also seemed to be depleted physically.  Self-restraint can be so exhausting.

Tonight after dinner, I decided to test the waters and see if absence could make the heart grow fonder.

"Max, do you want to call Brianna on the phone and see how she's doing?"

He volunteered to call Osama bin Laden instead.  

I'm not worried about these two.  Eventually, they'll make nice.  A truce will lead to a treaty and a treaty will lead to a lasting friendship based on common bonds.  And I have a feeling that common bond will be butt crack jokes.  It's only a matter of time.


shannon p. said...

I'm impressed that Max was only detained three times - he must have really being doing well with his self-restraint! Brianna is quite a cutie, even if she can be a little stinker - that's her job!

Kristina P. said...

I love the name Max. The end.

Soul-Fusion said...

She's so cute! But poor Max, it must have been hard having that role reversal! Did Christian enjoy observing this play out?

Angie said...

Hehe, that made me laugh. Poor Max.

MiaKatia said...

That sounds exactly, and I do mean exactly like my week last week. My sil was here with her 4 year old daughter and my almost 4 year old son tormented her the entire week.

Kami said...

She's a sassy one, you can tell. Some day they will love each other...or hate each other. Either way. :)

Christy said...


Becky said...

What a cute little girl! So funny that Max reacted to her that way. It made me laugh!

Miss M said...

Max had similar reactions to Megan when she wanted his broom at your moms house. That was a few years ago, but I see a pattern.

James said...

You capture things so brilliantly! I, too, am sure that it's only a matter of time before they bond. Maybe she should have tried out her "I farted" joke on Max -- it's really been a hit in the past with young male cousins!


Jesse C said...

That is really funny. Two strong-willed, hilarious kids.

Omgirl said...

Poor Brianna. My Beck is like that. His older sister has all the friends over and Beck is always a third wheel. I feel for the kid.

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