Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Prepare Ye More Guacamole!

I have mixed feelings about the world ending on Saturday. On the one hand, it's nice to know things in advance; I hate surprises of the life and death variety. It's also a relief that we'll all be going together, removing the need for any long, sappy goodbyes (something else I dislike). Another plus is that I've cancelled the June car and student loan payments and have more money now for guacamole, which I plan to eat in excess until midnight Friday. I kept the June mortgage payment scheduled as a small show of skepticism, but also because the mortgage industry has been hit so hard, I'd like to throw them a bone. I call it an economic goodwill back-up plan.

However, it's not all fun and guacamole when we're talking about world's end. There are a few down sides to this. I have a familiar feeling from my school days when I'd be really excited about a project, visions of A pluses dancing in my head only to approach the deadline with last-minute scrambling and wishes for at least a B minus. I planned on being a much more accomplished, interesting, and philanthropic before the show was over. I've been scheduling an exciting shoulder pad comeback in 2012. There were life lessons and personality quirks I'd been planning on learning and ironing out in late 2018, followed by a bestselling memoir documenting the process. I'll miss finding out if I actually lose 15 pounds this summer, what Christian and Max grow up to do with their lives, and what travel deals Ryan would have found for us over the next 50 years. Greece? Dollywood? Mars?

It's a mixed bag, I tell ya. Now, pass the guac please and tell me the up and down sides of your imminent demise.

9 comments:

Christy said...

The world's ending, really? I hadn't heard. I like that you threw them a bone by keeping your June mortgage payment scheduled. You are always doing nice optimistic things like that. That's why I like you so much. I think you're amazing.

Kate said...

Freak. I made my loan payment yesterday. Talk about poor timing. But at least there's still time for me to ignore all of my homework, take a loooong nap in the sun, and go for a picnic. Probably won't be able to run a marathon though. ah dang.

Soul-Fusion said...

on the plus side, no chemo. On the down side, I was really looking forward to that trip to Patagonia.

Jesse C said...

I love guacamole. It would be a nice way to go.

Hil said...

Holy crap. Thanks for the heads up!

laureldandelions said...

Bwahaha, you are hilarious! I totally would have bought your memoir, I love memoirs.

Artax said...

Well, maybe I'll hold off on cleaning the bathroom. Or is a clean bathroom important at the end of the world? I think it might be. Dang.

Lindy-Lou said...

No way! I ain't goin' anywhere until my peonies are in full bloom.
And the rain stops!

Mia said...

Hummm we're all still here. That's ok though, I still have things to accomplish. But I confess I ate a big huge bowl of guacamole just in case.

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