Friday, March 5, 2010

Lather, Rinse, Repeat

I gave the dog a bath this morning, a chore I've put off for a while. In part, I've put it off because Lucy has a nice natural scent, which I'm guessing is unusual in a dog and therefore should be celebrated. In fact, she smells shockingly like one of my favorite cereals, Trader Joe's Puffins. The other day Ryan poured himself a bowl of the cereal and sniffed inside the box.

"This is the same smell as Lucy," he said.

I smelled the cereal and was surprised to find that he was right. I said, "You must never mention this again."

I don't think it's right to eat a cereal that smells like your dog. Under the wrong circumstances, it could present a problem for the dog.

I also gave Max a shower this morning. He's recently graduated from bath to shower, although he doesn't quite have the mechanics of it down yet like he did a bath. I get him set up and then walk away twenty paces and immediately hear him call, "Moooooooom!" And then I return to adjust the temperature, help him with the shampoo, verify that the suds are out, or hand him a towel for stinging eyes. Then I walk away again, trying to remember what I was doing. As soon as I remember, I hear him call again. Mark my words, kids give you ADD.

The process of showering and getting ready every day fascinates me. We humans are so powerful and smart, bossing around the whole planet, but we're so incredibly faulty at the same time. Once we reach adolescence, we can't go 24 hours without starting to smell bad. And we can't take a six-hour road trip without having to pee at least once or twice. And don't even get me started on sleeping, the most wonderfully weird thing in the world. I'm not complaining, because I love me some sleep, but isn't it mind-boggling that we spend a significant chunk of every single day unconscious? And then there's eating! Food! A few (or several, in my case) significant meals per day!

My dog can go a month without a bath, six hours without a potty break, and 24 hours in between meals. And yet, I'm the one with a checking account. Go figure.

15 comments:

Kelly S. said...

Great post! I love the Seinfeld episode where George is talking about how much maintenance the body requires. Plucking, shaving, washing, moisturizing, feeding, cleaning, cutting nails & hair. Left unattended, it gets quite nasty. If your body was a car, you wouldn't buy it.
PS - Tina the Tortoise, who you are familiar with, can go four days without eating or drinking, yet two hours after breakfast I'm in the cookie jar. Evolution, go figure....

Soul-Fusion said...

Having recently spent six days on an uninhabited island without a shower (not counting the ocean) or a razor (rapidly growing hair being a more unpleasant biproduct for me than smell) I will just say that we can go longer without showering than we think. Unless you are a boy. The boys I was with smelled pretty bad by the time we left the island.

Jesse C said...

Great post. Thanks for the laughs.

Kellybee said...

There are worse things your dog could smell like! We had a bassett hound named Melvin, who smelled like butt. Big, fat, stinky butt. So, I'm glad Lucy smells like cereal!

Ann said...

So funny. I wish I'd written it.

Lindy-Lou said...

My favorite line: "Under the right circumstances,it could present a problem for the dog."

PS Your header is very, very funny.

Annie said...

Yeah! Name one human who can catch a tennis ball out of the air with their mouth.

I'd like my dog to smell like fruit loops or peach pie.

Becky said...

Very funny. Very true. You are so insightful. :)

Christy said...

I wish I could go as long as my dog can go without a potty break. I could get so much more done without potty breaks. I do think about that sometimes. Maybe I'm just drinking too much.

Kami said...

Are you suggesting that dogs are the better species? I could agree, except for the fact that they can't do a whole lot with out us, and that is why I love dogs!

Emily said...

Jerry Seinfeld has a bit where he talks about how aliens would think dogs were superior if they saw humans interacting with them. Especially when it comes to waste disposal: "If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop and the other one is carrying it for him, whom would you think is in charge?" :)

Donna said...

Great post! So true. I don't know any one else who can write about giving their dog and bath and actually make it enjoyable to read.

tiburon said...

LOVE this post.

And now I realize that I am starting to smell.

Thanks for that.

Anonymous said...

Man, if Ramone could go for a month without a bath that would be heaven.

He usually smells like poop or poop coated farts.

Oh, and his breath stinks.

It's good that I love Ramone.
-james

Angie said...

Sometime, when I'm falling asleep, I start to wonder what really happens the the brain or body when it goes to sleep, and then I get nervous, and then I get over it and sleep like the dead.

Related Posts with Thumbnails