Beef and Bean Burritos: My Childhood Favorite

When I was a kid, few things thrilled me more than walking into our kitchen and seeing my mom making a giant platter of grilled burritos. Maybe that makes you think that I didn't have a very thrilling childhood, but you should reserve your judgment until you've tried these.

There is nothing fancy about these burritos. I've tried fancifying them with extra ingredients or spices, but I always return to them in their simplest form. So that is what I'm going to share with you. Let's get started, shall we?

We start with the beans. I've gotten in the habit of making my own refried beans, because it's easy and delicious. But, you can easily skip this step and use a can of refried beans. You'll still get full credit.

Dump a large can of pinto beans (drain a little bean juice off first, but not all of it) and a small can of diced green chiles into a medium saucepan. Add a pat of butter and stir it all around. Let it simmer on a low/medium stove for a while and bubble and brew all together. When they're done cooking, use a zhuzher to zhuzh them into the blissful smooth beans they were meant to be.

Next, brown a pound of ground beef in a frying pan. Add some spices--salt, pepper, and cumin. I also like some of this Mexican all-purpose seasoning.

Next, it's time to drain the fat. Push all of the meat to the end of the frying pan furthest from the handle. Tip the pan so the grease drains away from the meat and toward the handle. Give it enough time to really accumulate and think of all the calories you're saving by doing this. Take a few paper towels and stick them right in the pan to absorb all that fat. If you don't have any paper towels, you could use a maxi pad or diaper.

Now it's time to marry the beans with the beef. (If you're using canned refried beans, this is where you dump them right into your meat.)

Do you, Beef, take Beans to be your lawfully wedded fiber? And do you, Beans, take Beef to be your lawfully wedded protein? You may now get busy!

Don't they make the best couple? You should have a nice, thick, beefy-beany paste. Let it honeymoon for a minute while you heat your griddle to 300-350 degrees.

Now you're ready to set up a little burrito making station. Get out your flour tortillas, shredded cheese, and two plates.

Take a tortilla and spread some of the beef and bean mixture right down the middle, then sprinkle it with cheese and place it on a plate in the microwave for 22 seconds. (Why 22 seconds? Because I feel bad for all the numbers that aren't integers of 5; they always get left out of the microwaving fun.) You need to warm this in the microwave so that your tortilla is nice and pliable. While one burrito is in the microwave, begin preparing the next one. That's why you need two plates--one in the microwave and one at your fixing station.

Take your soft tortilla and tuck the ends in first and then roll it up, nice and tight.

You're ready to grill! Place the burrito on the grill, with the fold directly on the grill. This will seal it closed and help to keep it's shape. Add the burritos one by one to the prepared grill.

You want to grill them on four sides for maximum tastiness. This is the grilling order: bottom (with fold), top, side, side. The burritos will all be at different stages of grilling, so they will rotate and come off the grill in the same order that they went on.

If you're making a lot of burritos, you can turn your oven to a low heat (as low as it will go) and put the finished burritos on a tray in the oven to keep them all warm until serving.

Alright, it's time to eat! Serve your burritos with salsa, guacamole, sour cream, or my personal favorite--KETCHUP! Mmmmm!

I think you should make these today. I think they will make you happy. Plus, your house will smell amazing. Plus, you'll have a deeper understanding of my blog and all my references to burritos. And I think that's important for both of us.