Thursday, January 7, 2010

Resolved (Or, Count the Metaphors)

I haven't started 2010 yet. I'm waiting until the time is right, standing outside the wildly churning revolving door that will take me from 2009's sidewalk and drop me off in the lobby of 2010. The timing has to be right, you know, to avoid disaster--stumbles, falls, and face plants. And don't forget about stray shoelaces that can get caught. A stray shoelace can result in a severed leg or a sprained pinky.

Obviously, there's a lot to think about on the sidewalk of 2009.

I've been taking a break to become refreshed and renewed, which is how I was hoping to be when I arrive fashionably late in 2010. In fact, I applied my eye cream morning and night twice last week in preparation.

In addition to skin care, I've been reading others' resolutions and themes and trying to decide how it is that I'm going to approach this new year. There is definitely a list of things I want to accomplish, at least a dozen adjectives I'd like to acquire, and three or four verbs I'd like to master, but I haven't decided if I am at an all-you-can-resolve buffet, or dining on a tiny-but-meaningful plate at the Bistro of Becoming.

Something can happen, though, if you wait too long to start a new year. If I'd seen any of the Matrix movies, I could explain this better, but it's sort of a strange limbo world that you find yourself in and it begins to make you a little crazy. And by "a little crazy" I mean "eating empty calories to the point of sickness." It's possible that my time off left me nothing but neurotic. And chubby.

To be perfectly honest, I'm not all that pleased with Me, Version 2009. I was like a regrettable computer upgrade--lots of potential, but too many frustrating quirks. I have been planning to accomplish many incredible things as soon as.......what? As soon as I grew up? As if I wasn't allowed to be great until some artificial date arrived and made me valid. In the mean time, I successfully discovered 1001 ways to waste time, including number 678: The Real Housewives of Atlanta. 

I have to do better this year.

Tomorrow the year 2010 turns one week old, and my time on 2009's sidewalk will expire. (Did you know you can only delay starting a new year for one week? I learned that from watching Matrix trailers on YouTube, which is, incidentally, Way to Waste Time #843.) I'll have no choice but to bite my lip, hop into that salad spinner of a door and step foot into the new decade.

I've got serious butterflies. (And shoelaces tied in double-knots.) But I'm ready. I mean, if I can keep an entire year from starting, what can't I do?


Hil said...

great post Tiffany! Here's to a new year!

Kelly S. said...

I used to think that I would know who I was going to be by 2010. As in who my "grown-up self" would be. On New Year's Eve I felt like shouting out Wait! I'm not ready to start a new decade! I didn't do everything I wanted to do! I don't even know what we are calling the last decade! We called 1980-89 the 80's. So will the last decade be the 0's? The oughties? Hmmm... I don't know. Maybe I will figure out something in this decade. After all, this is the decade when I will, gulp, turn 40.

Miranda said...

I really want to make a witty comment because I love this post so much. But I can't think of one. But still, I love it.

Soul-Fusion said...

LOVE this! And at the way my first week of 2010 has progressed (I seriously was shocked we haven't quite hit the 1 week point yet), I think the revolving door has propelled me clean past the lobby and up a few floors and I'm still trying to get oriented. I look forward to your insights, maybe I'll get around to a few of my own.

Becky said...

I, like Miranda, would like something witty to say but I'm never good at that anyway. So I'll just say, I love your post- and welcome to 2010. I just know it's going to be great for you!

Kristina P. said...

So introspective! I love it.

Kate said...

My resolution was to stop punching people.It's harder than I thought. Just so you know. :) Great post.

Donna said...

I totally get this. Last year I didn't start 2009 until March 2.

Glad you're back!

Kami said...

I feel the same way. The only thing that is making have to jump right into this new year is that I now have I mean get to do running. lots of forrest gump run-nan-ing.

What did I say yes too?!

ps. I'm glad Tiffany is back. I hope you enjoyed your time away.

aimee said...

The lobby always has comfy chairs. Come on in and relax!

Don't stay in 2009 too long. It was a darker year for the world with all the economy doom and gloom. 2010 has a new bounce! We look forward to see you.

Illinivicki said...

Yay! We missed you in 2010. It didn't seem right starting without you. Glad you made it! Here's to a great year!

Tiffany said...

I seriously wish I could write like you. That being said, I feel just the same as you- like the whole idea of everything you want to do "when you grow up" has some date off in the future...Which is why my word of 2010 is TODAY! =)

Jesse C said...

Here here Tiff. Let's kick this decade's hind parts. Here's to greatness in 2010.

MiaKatia said...

I love January! I am always giddy when it starts. Although I muddle around wondering where I am most of February and March.

alex dumas said...

1. wildly churning revolving door
2. 2009's sidewalk
3. lobby of 2010
4. all-you-can-resolve buffet
5. tiny-but-meaningful plate at the Bistro of Becoming
6. regrettable computer upgrade

I count six. What do I win?

By the way, this: "To be perfectly honest, I'm not all that pleased with Me, Version 2009. I was like a regrettable computer upgrade--lots of potential, but too many frustrating quirks"--is awesome. Well.said.

Christy said...

Glad you are going to be joining us in 2010. I've missed you!

Lindy-Lou said...

I've been waiting in the lobby for you to arrive. Welcome!!! Now the party can begin!

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