Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Welcome to Movie Island!

This is Movie Island. It might look like an inflatable mattress, because that's what it used to be. However, it is no longer an inflatable mattress. It's a magical island where my family gathers to watch movies. But you can only watch one movie on Movie Island before it disappears into a flat, plastic puddle on the carpet. It's very magical.

I bet you're wondering how you can get your own two-hour magical Movie Island. I've put together a short set of do-it-yourself instructions.

1. Purchase an expensive inflatable mattress at Costco with the intent of using it for decades as a spare sleeping option for houseguests.

2. Leave it inflated in a spare basement room after your houseguests leave.

3. Forget about it for a few months.

4. Ask two small children (preferably boys) to use the mattress as an end zone for indoor football.

5. Ignore the sounds of them making dramatic touchdowns, tackles, and fumbles.

6. Repeat steps 3-5.

7. Check on your mattress after several months. It should be listless and whimpering.

8. Fill it up with air and spend several minutes locating and patching the most significant holes. (Don't worry, there are zillions of tiny holes! You only want to patch the big ones.) Oh, and be sure to use some  profanity. (This is all part of the magical process.)

9. You're almost done! Now it's time to test your magical Movie Island to make sure it has been fully transformed and is no longer an inflatable mattress. Fully inflate it and then sleep on it overnight. If you've been successful, you'll wake on the hard ground after only a few hours. (Note: you can ask a houseguest to perform this step for you.) If you wake on a full mattress, I recommend repeating steps 3-5, but with larger children who are holding knives.

10. Congratulations! You have successfully transformed a regular, expensive air mattress into a magical Movie Island for your family to enjoy for the average length of a feature film!


MiaKatia said...

I think it was well worth it for such a cute picture of the boys ;)

Becky said...

Very funny! Lucy seems to be enjoying herself almost as much as the boys! At least you've gotten lots of good use out of the mattress. Ours got holes just sitting in the bag!

Tiffany said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tiffany said...

Your creativity continues to impress me! You're a regular Martha Stewart!

Artax said...

This post made me laugh. (Oh, and those expensive air mattresses go on sale every now and then....)

Soul-Fusion said...

I believe I have helped out on step #9.
That cute photo reminds me it has been a while since my last visit :)

You Are My Fave said...

Why is watching movies on a mattress so much fun? Sometimes we drag our mattress out to the living room and just keep it there for a few days. It's like a party

Kami said...

I now want to go to movie island! What fun!

tiburon said...

If you are coming here - are we getting together?

alex dumas said...

LOL! (But it was really an audible chuckle, just so you know.)

shannon p. said...

I'll probably dream of Taco Bell tonight! We used to eat there ALL OF THE TIME...but it's been many many moons since I've tasted their delicious meaty/beany crunchy goodness! (and yet I haven't even dropped a pound or two...what's up with that?)

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