Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Hey, Utah, I've got all that moisture you've been praying for!

It rains here.  And when it rains, it pours.  (Now I know where the phrase comes from.)

Except for when it rains little misty dew drops like fairy kisses.  I love that.

But usually, it pours.  

And it's rarely a scattered shower; the rain here is a day-tripper.  It packs a lunch and stays a while; and if you happen to wash your car, it will be sure to stay the weekend.

Ryan is befuddled with the yard.  He used to experience Man vs. Nature in one way, fighting the elements and convincing his desert yard to bloom.  His favorite weapon was Miracle Gro.  His obsession was finding the perfect sprinkler timing to keep things green and use the least amount of water.  

Now it's a different version of Man vs. Nature--the overabundance of water.  The lawn grows so fast and stays so wet that our once fearless lawn mower has applied for a leave of absence and checked itself into the mental hospital with severe anxiety issues.  I went to visit it the other day.  It sat rocking in the corner, murmuring incoherently.  I patted it tenderly on the oil cap.  It was heartbreaking.

Everywhere you look there is something sprouting up from the ground--trees, weeds, wild grasses--eager to overthrow the landscape and take over the entire yard.  It's like a trillion little Kim Jong-Ils.

And the Miracle Gro?  It's been traded in for Round Up.  Last night Ryan sprayed the living crap out of all the little weeds.  I went out to find him dousing one of the flower beds.

"Seems like you're using a lot," I said.
"Yep," he said.

Then he sprayed them all again.  

And then he asked for a bigger sprayer for Father's Day.  

Now, all of this is not to say that I'm not enjoying my new environment.  After all, it's the lush, green landscape that won my heart originally.  The winding country roads are covered in a canopy of leafy green, which makes a drive to the nearest Wendy's a breathtaking experience.  There are giant trees here--trees that people didn't buy at Costco!  

What the?

And in the trees are birds that chirp and twitter (the old-fashioned way) and  sing all the live-long day.  I swear, some days it's like living on a Disneyland ride--the soundtrack is exactly the same.

And speaking of Disney, the fireflies are just starting to appear.  Fireflies!  They actually exist!  They are not a fictitious  Disney character as I'd previously believed!  Strangely, everything I ever knew about life east of the Mississippi, I learned at Disneyland.

Although, I will say that there is a disappointing lack of churros here.

28 comments:

emily said...

i was just going to get packing to move back east until you said churros. that's a deal breaker. i NEED to be 5 minutes away from a good taco at all times!

still...green? what's that?

Leslie said...

I understand that Man vs. Nature thing. I've been amazed at how easily the weeds here in the desert can be ripped out. In Ohio, I think the roots were able to tunnel down to China. Here, they are very shallow. Weeding here is a much more rewarding experience.
I cannot wait to behold your lush greenness soon, though. (Especially because I don't have to do the weeding -- do I?)

Kristina P. said...

It has been raining for 7 days! I wish it would just be done already.

aimee heff said...

You must be stealing all the rain from Seattle. We haven't had a cloudy sky in quite a few days.

Disneyland churros are one of the great wonders of the world. I want to eat one now, in fact.

Good luck with those weeds.

Lindy-Lou said...

You are so funny. I can absolutely hear Ryan in his resolute determined voice, making his mission very clear. I wish him well. Remind him that to everyone else, the yard looks beautiful and lush.

Jesse C said...

Dang, missed the fireflies by that much.

Becky said...

I can just picture Ryan out there spraying the weeds! So funny! We are getting our share of rain these days too. Not so funny.

Soul-Fusion said...

to be fair, I think this is an unusually wet spring. Or at least delayed. Now you know why rubber boots are more of a necessity than a fashion accessory when walking around Manhattan in the spring. . .

Tiffany said...

Oh, how I miss the fireflies!! I spent 2 years in Virginia, and I miss only 2 things. Fireflies and thunderstorms. =)

The Coolest Allen Family said...

I saw my first firefly while on my mission in Indiana. I too was amazed that they actually existed. I miss them; I know my kids would love them.

Melissa said...

Welcome to the East (we are in Kentucky). My SIL dad was told when he moved here (and tried to put a sprinkler on the lawn).."Buddy, here in Kentucky God waters the law).
Just embrace it, plant some tomato plants then brag to all your western relatives when they grow to be 6 ft tall with hundreds of tomatoes on each plant.
Just wait until August and it gets steamy.... steamy hot nights, fireflies GALORE...aahhhh summer!
(emily's sister)

Melissa said...

geez... sorry for all the typos.. too much caffeine... I meant to say...
"Buddy here in Kentucky, God waters the lawn"

Lance said...

Did Salt Lake suddenly become the sister city to your city? We've had major thunderstorms each day for a week or more now and have surpassed our average water quota for June and it's only the 9th. Holy-run-on-sentence-Batman! Anyhoo, I've always told Lisa we need to live somewhere more "moist". Like Alaska. Sounds cool!!!

MiaKatia said...

You have the best wit and sense of humor.

There are giant trees here--trees that people didn't buy at Costco!

Strangely, everything I ever knew about life east of the Mississippi, I learned at Disneyland... still laughing.

Kami said...

I would love to see fireflies again! I saw them once in D.C. they are so magical. It's not that warm here right now if that makes you feel any better.

heidi b said...

Val bought a life size yard statue of a little boy, sitting cross-legged holding a jar. It is solar powered, and night it glows to show he has captured a firefly! I think of your boys when I look at it, thinking what a fun experience to catch fireflies!
(The statue is better in the yard, rather than on the chair in the living room, where he would literally scare the poop out of the girls each time they would walk past!)

Artax said...

Yeah. So here I am for my three week quota east of the Mississippi this year, and *somebody* decides thunderstorms. Repeatedly. Seriously? I am tired of wet socks. Could you please turn it off for just a few days? Thanks.

wunderbug said...

it's been raining forever here, but for some reason our grass seed isn't growing.

last year? green sprouty patches of ireland that we could barely control let alone keep mowed to make the other grass not feel as bad. this year?

bare. bare spots which - just add rain - turn into mud puddles.

it's a beautiful thing.

(send some of that green livin' up here, will you?)

Angie said...

The rain and leafy green is what I miss most about Minnesota. I miss it all summer long. But, this year we've actually had a very wet spring, so things have stayed green longer than usual! It's very nice.

The East coast just sounds better all the time.

VTS said...

You are seriously making me PINE for the east coast! That's all the stuff that I LOVE about the east. Sigh.

Scott@VoteOrDieBlog said...

I love the rain! If we move back to Utah, I will for sure miss the all the greeness of Seattle.

Christy said...

Had to laugh about the lawn mower in the mental hospital w/ anxiety issues. Hilarious!

Mac and Dixie said...

We are feeling your pain today...and yesterday...and tomorrow for that matter. It has been pouring buckets here!

Suzie said...

My brain seems to have left the building. Here I was thinking, "Where is Tiff? What's she doin'? Is everything ok? And I give a crap.

Turns out I hadn't changed the URL to your new one.
I'm caught up on you now, What a reading treat. I Think I'll go run to Costco, get a churro, buy a tree and say GAZUNTITE! to the sneezy guy next to me. Really loud.
:)

Kate said...

It's been raining like every day for week here. I'm crazy ridiculous sick of bad hair days. It doesn't even feel like Idaho. I need sunshine. Argh.

Omgirl said...

Ahhhh....you just named all the things I miss about back east. And the one I love about the west (churros.)

If it makes you feel any better, it's been rainging for a solid week. My lawn is actually growing mushrooms from too much rain! Weird.

Ginnie said...

Just hit up the local costco. That's what I had to do to get my churro fix :)

rychelle said...

it rained every day i was in UT. and it was delightful.

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