Under-Promise, Over-Perform

This is my brother Justin and me. We spent a couple of days together earlier in the week. He is ten years older than me and ten inches taller. He is the Chief Financial Officer of a bank. I'm not sure how much money he makes, but he didn't even blink when he paid for my turkey hoagie in Philly.

During our time together, he explained his philosophy of under-promising and over-performing: under-promise what you can do and then follow it up with an over-performance. Set the expectation lower than what you think you can deliver, and then when you deliver--WOW! LOOK AT YOU, OVER-ACHIEVER! (Plus, if you can't deliver, then no harm done because nobody expected you to.)

This was mind blowing for me. I run around promising exactly what I can do, sometimes more, creating arbitrary deadlines, and then working myself into a frenzy to meet them. Is anybody thrilled when I complete the task that I said I could and when? Um, no, but thanks for asking.

I think this is the beginning of a new era of success for me. From now on, I plan to do very little in every single aspect of my life. I will shower on only a semi-regular basis. I will only be a good parent on every other Tuesday. I will occasionally blog (when I'm not feeling fickle). I will rarely cook. I will never clean. I will gain a massive amount of weight in a short period of time. I will offend most of my friends, and alienate the others. I will frighten small children and animals. I will evoke pity from the elderly.

Prepare to be underwhelmed.

My Philosophies and Other Unsolicited Advice

• Aim for average--it will get you further than perfectionism ever will.
• Good moms work themselves out of a job.
• You might as well look on the bright side.
• Don't burn bridges.
• The house doesn't have to be spotless.
• Take good care of your skin.
• If you haven't learned to enjoy sitting by a pool, you need to practice until you do.
• Don't buy it just because it's on sale.
• The salon hair products are worth it.
• Laughing is the best.
• Avoid regret.
• Marry your best friend.
• Let people be who they are.
• A good education is worth the cost.
• Let the kids stay up a little later.
• Make cookies and give them to people.
• You're never too good for fast food.
• Go to new places.
• Say yes to things that scare you.
• Say no sometimes so that people know you have boundaries.
• Have boundaries.
• If you accidentally use someone else's toothbrush, just put it back and try to forget about it.
• Give people the benefit of the doubt.
• Everybody is a product of their own experience.
• Holding on to the past feels right, but it isn't.
• Never forget the beauty of a grilled cheese sandwich.
• Always look for online coupons before you order anything.
• Question everything, and don't be afraid of the answers.
• Be patient with yourself.
• Avoid being part of a majority.
• Tip 20% unless it's bad service.
• Don't judge.
• If you can't help but judge, keep it to yourself or your spouse. Don't blab.
• Ask people about themselves and then listen.
• Don't leave your underwear on the floor. The dog will eat it.
• Give funny greeting cards.
• Avoid pointing out the positives to someone who is sad or mad. Listen and let them be.
• Play music in your house.
• Tuck your kids in at night.
• If someone has hurt you, and you want a relationship with them, talk it out.
• If someone has hurt you, and you don't want a relationship with them, let it go.
• Letting it go is easier said than done.
• Be a friend to yourself.
• Say, "I love you."
• Make friends with smart, interesting people.
• Your kids should be a teensy bit afraid of you.
• Be true to yourself.
• Do what you think is right.
• Work hard, but have a lot of fun.
• Buy from small businesses.
• Fight fair. 
• Don't go to stuffy parties.
• Give stuff away.
• Be their parent, not their friend.
• Use Priceline to book your hotel rooms.
• There is always another solution. There is always another way.
• Don't waste your money on stupid movies.
• Don't waste your money on team sports pictures for your six-year-old.
• Give sincere compliments.
• Don't use boring paint colors.
• Sing in the shower, the kitchen, and the car.
• Swear sometimes; it makes you feel better.
• Speed up on the freeway on-ramp.
• Let people know the real you.
• Buy two gallons of milk. Running out of milk sucks.
• Write, write, write. Then write some more.
• Order dressing on the side.
• Avoid home-hosted selling parties if you're a pansy (like me) and feel obligated to buy stuff.
• Don't give unsolicited advice, unless it's on your blog.

That's my list. What's on yours?