I Like Being a Mom

I also like being taller than my kids. (For the next five minutes, at least.)

Zoom, Zoom

You know those car commercials? The ones that end with the little boy who leans into the camera and whispers, "Zoom, zoom!" with an adorable smirk? Well, I've got news for you: those aren't really car commercials. Those are messages from God disguised as car commercials. That boy? He's really an angel. His message? Zoom, zoom, time is flying by. Better pay attention. Those cars? Well, those are Mazdas. God's pretty into Mazdas.

Zoom, zoom. That's how long it took for this baby to grow up to seven years old. No time at all.

Zoom, zoom. He's got opinions and homework and hobbies and friends.

Zoom, zoom. He's got a sense of humor, a sense of style, and a sense of determination. He can pour the milk all by himself. Don't insult him with an offer to help. Need something googled? He's your man.

Zoom, zoom. He's full of wishes and dreams for his future. He thinks about being grown up. He's scoping out career options. I guess he knows it's not that far away.

Zoom, zoom, seven years passed just like that. He said it was his best birthday ever. He now has enough to compare them.

Zoom, zoom, indeed.

Does God talk to you through car commercials?

Stuff I Didn't Know About Motherhood Until the Baby Came Out

• Baby's first poop that looks like tar
• Mom's first post-birth poop (Where is the epidural for THAT?)
• Stretch marks
• The peace and warmth of a sleeping baby on your chest
• That carrying around your "baby weight" for two years isn't exactly normal
• An extraordinary amount of equipment that goes everywhere you do
• The wide variety of breast pumps available
• Postpartum depression 
• The expanse of your heart
• The occasional feelings of claustrophobia
• Other people's strong opinions about your decision to breast feed or not (WHOA!)
• The ability to rock and sway without realizing you're doing it
• The delightful smell of Johnson's lavender baby wash
• The surprisingly pleasant amount of late-night infomercials
• Kid fashion
• Happy Meal toys
• Realizing a latent ability to dispose of boogers in...unusual ways
• Realizing a latent ability to clean up all manner of bodily fluids 
• The brilliance of toddler TV
• Crusty car seats
• The joy of finding your preferred diaper and wipe brand
• The horror of hearing your own "baby-talk voice" on home videos
• The gorgeousness of chubby thighs (baby's, not yours)
• The ability to perform a multitude of tasks while half asleep
• An ache in your upper back from holding kids who literally get bigger every day
• Bottle rot
• Yeast infections (for everyone!)
• Finding menial things to clap about (Yay! Burping! Yay!)
• Doing the same thing over and over to get a laugh
• Projectile vomiting

My babies are both celebrating their birthdays within the next six weeks. They are hardly babies anymore. Christian's birthday will mark a dozen years of motherhood for me. I still feel like a rookie most of the time, but they make it so worth it to play the game.

What didn't you know before you had kids?