I'm exhausted from bad news. The last weeks, months, and year have been among the worst ever for some of the dearest people in my life. Honestly, at times it's felt like an avalanche of bad news, compounding in weight and speed as it chases all of us. I feel like I've been heartsick for so long, for so many different reasons, sometimes it's hard to breathe. (It's certainly hard to blog.) My own un(der)employment is a lesser worry compared to some of the challenges being faced by my loved ones, but still adequate enough to give me the beginnings of an ulcer. I don't know which is disintegrating faster, my stomach lining or my belief that I'm employable. And all of this is aside from the daily dose of disaster on the evening news. I can barely watch anymore. My worry is maxed out.
I think this is part of my fixation on our trip to France. It's the one little daffodil bursting up through the broken sidewalk. It doesn't solve anything, but it's given me something to look forward to, a week to escape reality.
Yesterday the sun was out and the temperature climbed higher than the forecast predicted. I went outside to get reacquainted. I stuck my hand out for an awkward handshake, like I was meeting up with my favorite cousin after a long absence. I pulled out the rake, shovel, garden gloves and I worked in the sun for hours, until my back threatened to break. And while I was working, I had a thought. I thought that maybe there is more good news in the world than I realize. Just because the pond sample I'm scooped up in is thick with problems, it doesn't necessarily represent the whole body of water.
So, I'm asking you to tell me some good news, something wonderful happening to you right now. What is going right in your world? What is making you smile? What is giving you hope? No matter the size or scope, please tell me about it. I truly want to know, so don't be a stranger. Let me rejoice with you.
Friday, March 18, 2011
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Next month we're taking our kids to Disneyland for the first time. They're hardcore Disney Princess fans, so I can't wait to see their faces (we haven't told them yet...)
"My worry is maxed out." I've had a lot of similar feelings lately. Why do thoughts of un(der)employment seem to eat you from the inner core? I don't know. I am not my job I keep telling myself.
Here's a quote somebody wise gave me a long time ago, I still keep close.
"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think." by Christopher Robin. You remember giving that to me? It's my something wonderful that's making me smile & giving me hope.
Love your blog :) It almost always makes me smile.
Good things-I just had my first baby. She was a girl just like I wanted. She turned 4 months old today and I love her more than I ever thought was possible. I just bought her first swimsuit for summer and I can't wait to see her cute little cheeks in it!
I've been feeling this way lately, too. Sometimes I feel like we've lost all control of our world. It IS exhausting and I sympathize.
My good news? I'm marrying my best friend a week from tomorrow...but I think the BEST news is that a week from Sunday, this wedding hoopla will be over, and my new husband and I will begin the rest of our life together.
Your niece Casey Anne (with an 'e') took an individual silver in the academic decathalon last week-end, and her charter h.s. beat out the school that had dominated in that particular event for the past decade. Go Casey!!!
Your cousin Gail has experienced an outpouring of love and support from their small town in the wake of personal disaster. Have you noticed the stars are brighter on the darkest nights?
"..fear not little flock; do good; let eath and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail. ...Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not. D&C 6:34,36.
We are moving into our brand, new house in 2 weeks!
I'm so excited to read about your trip! I hope you feel much better soon.
Something small that has me feeling happy are the shiny new washer and dryer in my laundry room. I'll go in there just to look at them. They make doing the laundry a little more pleasant!
happy things! I'm new to blogging and I love it and all of the new people i'm meeting through it. [ex:just found your blog] the weather is getting nice again, i just got into grad school, and i am safe. God is good.
Thanks for asking the question- answering reminded me to be grateful!
xoxo
Oh, I've been feeling a lot like you recently, and have been holding on for dear life to the good things - no matter the size.
But I did actually have a great big good thing happen. We bought a new house! And even better - we sold our other one. I was convinced we would own two houses for at least a year, but as it turned out we never had to pay a double mortgage! What a huge blessing and relief for us.
Happy things: our marriage is in such a good place, that cruise was good for us.
AND...I received the iPad 2 smart cover in the mail this week (only one more month for the actual iPad to come) - happy right?! :)
I love my husband and he loves me. I feel safe and happy in our relationship. My kids, after what seemed like a never ending merry go round of flu's and viruses and colds, are all healthy. It's so much easier to appreciate how wonderful and funny and thoughtful they are when they aren't moaning and whining all the time! We spent a lovely hour outside yesterday soaking up the sun and playing with our friends. Sunshine is such a balm to my spirit.
Now that Matt has been in Kuwait for five months I am feeling that I am finally able to deal with it. I get dressed in the morning. Comb my hair. Actually put on little makeup. Making plans for the yard for spring. Feeling human again. Feeling part of the world. Going to Walmart without breaking down in frozen foods crying. And spring is here in TWO DAYS!!!! If that isn't enough to make someone feel better I don't know what is. Feel grateful that I've had such great friends and family who have seen me through this last few months. People who have listened to me cry about my situation for the umpteenth time and they hold me and tell me it's going to get better. It's been dark. BUT, the light has returned!
One of my worst fears has hit my household. Something that has scared me spitless since I became a parent. It was one great big, reality altering sucker- punch.
The happy part? I got up this morning, went to the temple, curled my stick straight hair and now I'm sitting in front of the computer eating sushi. I'm surviving this crisis. Sometimes it's a relief when our worst fears hit and we can get to work taking them head on. It's empowering.
We're a strong, resilient family. I'm a strong mother. That makes me happy.
we got our tax return today. part of it anyway. although most of it is spent, we decided to take some and do something fun. we are going to one of our favorite restaurants that we can't really afford on a day to day basis. authentic italian of course! well as close as we can get here:)
i found a quote a few months back that has kept me going over the last little bit. it says "Even miracles take a little time." it comes from cinderella. we are patiently (sometimes not so patiently!) waiting for our own miracle. your miracles are coming. they too may just take a little time.
I've been having the post-baby blues a lot lately & having a pitiful pity party for myself. Today, the sun was shining, it was breezy & beautiful, and my 3-month-old & I went for a walk. I keep telling myself, it's the small things. And I'll keep looking.
I hope things look up for you soon...
i can finally wear my pre-pregnancy jeans again!
YOU make me happy. You are a fabulous writer and a favorite virtual friend, and I love reading your writing when I can get it. Although I'm not pushy. I will wait patiently when I can't get it. Hope your world turns upside down and happiness spills into it.
(And turn off the news. That feels so anti-civic-minded-good-citizen-ness, I know, but helps a lot.)
Let's see.
My husband just came home off of a year long mobilization about a month ago
I am going on a cruise to the Bahamas next week
(FINALLY) found a bathing suit worth being seen in on sale for $20
my chiropractor has worked miracles on my back pain in the last month
my toddler (turning 2 on Monday!) showed me tonight that he can almost read all of Eric Carle's "The Very Hungry Caterpillar"
Despite the fact that I am not actively writing it right now, I am coming up with lots of ideas for my novel-in-progress
My husband and I have both decided to return to school via online classes and I finally decided what I want a degree in (It has taken me YEARS)
Good things are happening. Go admire some flowers. :) Find shapes in the clouds and snuggle your dog. Remember that your life will be a reflection of how you view yourself. All you have to do is change your frame of mind.
Good news, big and small:
We are moving to Amsterdam this Summer.
The birds have returned to our bird house for the Spring.
I just scored some awesome deals with Target's clearance racks.
I finally (through the grace of God and another teacher) got into a class I need to complete my degree in July.
I'll have my Associate Degree when I turn 19.
Last night, I went on a wonderful date.
This morning I played music.
My leg is finally healing.
I lived $120 under my budget last month.
I'm taking my brothers to a movie today.
I worked in the yard last week, clearing out all of the dead stuff, and making room for the new Spring growth!
Just returned from a snow-skiing family vacation, and I'm not wearing ANY casts! (Thanks to Brianna's prayer this morning: Please help mommy to not ski into any more trees.)
Spring Thanksgiving next weekend.
We're on track to be out of debt by January 2016!
I've been admitted to start my grad program in the fall.
For Lent, I've allowed myself only 1 hour a day on the internet. Because of that, I've started to see in color again and I really like it. (Does that make any sense to anyone else but me?)
Last week I was selling my kids' clothes at a consignment sale in a GORGEOUS neighborhood. Driving back and forth several times, my mind wandered and day-dreamed to the day when we could live in such a house.
Fast forward to the evening when we had a good friend over for dinner. A fifty-something woman from Africa whose life in America has seen many ups and downs, just as I'm sure her life in Africa did many years ago. She told us tales of law suits and license and job loss, followed by home loss (and a NICE home at that) and financial ruin, and re-schooling herself. And yet she smiles and laughs and is a GIVER. She talks of how much better things are here in America for she and the niece she is raising as her own. She doesn't even have a kitchen table or a car (we give her rides to church each week) and she is always finding ways to give to us. And when she walked into my quaint home that evening, she commented on it's grandeur. The perspective shift was great. The drive through the nice neighborhood earlier in the day became just that for me: a nice drive. The contentment in my soul for the things I already have rose to new heights and reminded me I am who I am in a box or a tree or a mansion. I can be happy or sad anywhere; It's me who makes the difference. And THAT is probably the best news possible.
Plus my son prances everywhere he goes and sings songs like, "I need a nap!"
And my daughter is learning about self-governance and right and wrong and it's beautiful to watch.
And my baby likes to have fake-laughing wars with people.
And my husband has the work ethic of an ox and salivates when he sees a Costco sign.
So sorry to hear you are going through rough times. Hang in there and have a wonderful time in France!
It feels like I have an overwhelming amount of worries in my life right now too. But there are a few bright spots too. One big happy thing on the horizon is that my husband and I are getting sealed in the SLC temple on April 14. We had some seemingly insurmountable obstacles that we somehow, miraculously surmounted. It feels like a miracle.
I have a mission call to bring the good news of the gospel to the people of St. Louis, Missouri.
:)
My hubby found a brand new box of checks that I thought I threw out months ago, on the top of the fridge yesterday, where I obviously put them very carefully. (In the box was also a little plastic jobbie that says "I love you," which we hide here and there around the house for a little warm fuzzy. He hid it before I hid the checks.)
I love your blog, too. (I'd hide a jobbie in it if I could.) I've loved it since I found it sometime last year and decided we're actually sharing a brain some days. Saying that it totally stunk when my Mom, her brother and my Grampa were all gravely ill at the same time would be the understatement of a lifetime, so as a kindred spirit, I send out a little prayer for you now and then.
I'll miss you loads if you decide you really have fallen out of love with blogging, but sometimes needs must and you have to make your choices. In the meantime, pack your bags, cherie!!! [I'm focused like that on our upcoming Disney journey in a couple of weeks, and waiting for daffodils I planted last fall to peek through our yard.]
Five years ago my husband had an idea to create a better paper cutter for scrapbooking and photos. He created a model, sent it to a factory in China, changed factories in China 5 times, received multiple awful prototypes back and a few good ones which were all too expensive, and finally found the right factory for the right price 18 months ago. Then the factory stalled out on his project until he sent a fake buyer over there to stimulate them to get back to work on it. FIVE YEARS FROM WHEN WE STARTED the Cutterpillars are here, in our warehouse, they work great, they are selling like hot cakes, and they are getting RAVE reviews from our first customers. YAY!!! Happy news indeed.
I just found your blog (can't remember where I saw that link . . .) but I feel the same way-- so bogged down with bad news. But the happy thing of today is that my parents are in town and my mom took me shopping. I'm going to take those few blissful hours and think about them when I have to face reality.
Here I am late to the party but the good news is I got to read your latest post about the job prospect.
I would like to add to the positive here on this post and say that after 3 months of job searching, 42 resumes sent out, 18 interviews, I landed a job 6 weeks ago that I am so giddy about I can't even blog about it. I'm afraid I'll jinx it. But it's out now to one of my best bloggy friends and released to the universe. Th greatest news of all is that we don't have to go live with my inlaws.
Love you Tiff and crossing EVERYTHING and praying sincerely that this job will happen.
Bon APpetite! (that's French)
:)
It's crazy when the good news is that you only owe the IRS $54,412.00.
Have been struggling with back and leg pain and got an epidural (sp)and can feel some relief already. Peacefull rest is such a blessing.
Tiffany,
I am amazed at your sense of humor and warmth which shines through despite the weight you are carrying!
We just watched Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and I love a song from it that says, "up from the ashes grow the roses of success."
I have some fun news. My parents reconnected with a foreign exchange student from Malaysia we hosted 30 years ago. They had totally lost contact with him. But they met him in China last weekend, and when he saw my mom, he just hugged her and cried. They found each other through FB! I love FB for that reason.
I heard this in a movie and loved it: I am my own problems. I'm also my own solutions.
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