And These Three Things? Terribly Critical Information

1. I am really good at ordering takeout. I guess you could call it a gift. I can do it on a large or small scale, for an entire office or a small family. I will remember to ask for that extra side of vinaigrette; I will make sure there are napkins and straws; and I'm not afraid to ask for extra beans and no cheese, even if I'm ordering a hamburger. Sadly, this gift is under-utilized right now.

2. Before the days of political correctness, I would have been catagorized as an "idiot" but now they have a special, softer name for me: "navigationally challenged." I was able to hide this character trait well enough while living in Utah, with its roads laid out neatly in a giant grid and towering mountain ranges practically flashing in neon, "THIS IS EAST! THIS IS EAST!" But now? Where the roads were designed by a psychotic toddler? I don't know where anything is, how to get there, and please don't expect me to guess how to get back. (Well, except for Target, but that's because I have a natural homing device that could lead me there with my eyes closed.) If you look closely at the bottom of my car, you'll see some fine print: This driver's ability to intentionally get anywhere is made possible by the good people of Garmin.

3. I can waterski on one leg, with the rope hooked on to my toe--another tragically under-utilized talent. (If somebody has photographic evidence of this, please send it to me.) (Especially if it's from when I was skinny.) And just in case you're wondering, the answer is yes, I could order takeout for the entire office while waterskiing on one leg with the rope hooked on my toe. You know, depending on the cell phone coverage.

In other news, I made buttermilk pancakes for the family this morning. I ate two and shoved one in Max's mouth. Christian declined, and Ryan rushed out the door to make it to an appointment. So, what I'm saying here is that I've got a lot of pancakes right now. Want one?